23rd Sunday Year A

23rd Sunday Year A – Forgive, Forget or Forego

Who here found this week’s gospel a little uncomfortable, maybe a little too closed to home, a little too personal? There are probably very many of us to whom this gospel applies in one form ort another: either the forgiver or the one needing forgiveness.

What do you do when this approach doesn’t work for you? When you have tried the steps that are laid out: you have been to the person you feel has wronged you on a one to one basis and this hasn’t produced the results you were after.

When they have not changed their behaviour or offered apology, you have then approached them in the company of others to try and reach agreement, a change, a result that will enable you both to move on more positively than before. But the result has been the same – there is no change, there is only continuation of the first behaviour; continuation of the same hurtful words or the lack of any words at all.

What do you do then? How do you move forward in the spirit of love and forgiveness which the gospel is promoting?

It is hard, and we have to accept that we do not have it in our power or remit to solve every problem with which we are faced, all that we can do in these circumstances, id call on our Father in heaven and ask Him to help us to carry our load and to obtain some other solution, some other workaround.

But I think that what our gospel this weekend is telling us is that we must persevere. We must persevere in the hope and the knowledge that the Lord will come to our aid. He will give us the strength, the patience and the heart to continue trying to live with and within this particular relationship. He will help us to try and forge something that works for us. He will also help the other person to see a different way of living together.

Saint Paul tell us that we should, “Avoid getting into debt, except the debt of mutual love.” If we love someone then this does not mean that we will never fall out with them but it does mean that if and when we do, we will then do everything that we can to make amends, to seek redress. And that at times this will mean that we have to drive on and though somebody else’s barriers; their refusals to listen; their insistence that they and their behaviour was and is right.

If we remember the story of the widow and the judge where she kept going to him for justice and he kept ignoring her. Jesus said that in the end, the judge would listen to her if for no other reason than to stop her from bothering him. She persisted in the face of the judge’s refusal to listen to her, to entertain her, to have her even in his presence. She persisted. She refused to be ignored.

This is what Paul is talking about when he emphasises to the Romans that all of the commandments are summed up in this single command, “You must love your neighbour as yourself. Love is the one thing that cannot hurt your neighbour; that is why it is the answer to every one of the commandments.”

Love is hard: it isn’t easy. Love is challenging: it can be beset with challenges. Love demands a response, a continued and positive response. It also demands that you listen: you listen with both ears and with your heart and mind to what is being said to you, to what is being shown to you and to what is being felt by you and by others because of you.

Love doesn’t operate in a vacuum. It involves us, each and every one of us, being open to others. Being open to showing others, God’s love for us, for me and for the world in which we live by how we love them. By how we invite them in and listen to them and respond to them and show our love of and for them.

Forgiveness is another word for love. Acceptance of fault or failings is another way to show love. Agreement to share responsibility, to seek positive and supportive ways forward are act of love.

We are all in this same quandary in some shape or form. We can all look to improve the relationships that we have with each other so that these are more fruitful, more kind, more supportive, more Christ-like.

Lord, “Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.” Lord, it is hard but help me to be humble and to reach out to others in a spirit of love, fellowship and forgiveness. Amen